Hello readers. It feels like an age has past since my last entry. I can put that feeling down to the familiar effects of sleep deprivation (having not had a good nights sleep since last Thursday). The late nights over the weekend were through socialising, which is a slightly better reason for not sleeping than the usual pointless acts of procrastination I am apparently addicted to.
I seem to be handling it relatively well; although I do occasionally come to the realisation that I have just been swept away on a daydream. Afterwards I always become paranoid that I may have been talking to myself, but as nobody has started to avoid me at work I’m assuming I haven’t gotten that bad just yet!
That said; my short-term memory and concentration are beginning to deteriorate rather quickly. So tonight I will be going to bed early, and if sleep doesn’t come naturally my housemate has a mallet!
The weekend was a fun filled few days of vodka, geekery and a pretty awesome Australian Grand Prix. It’s good to see Jensen Button land a victory, and hopefully we will get a few more this season. He has made a few mistakes in his career, but he is a quality driver and deserves more (in my opinion). Yesterday evening I went to see Knowing, starring Nicholas Cage and directed by Alex Proyas (The Crow, Dark City and I, Robot).
In 1959 a group of school children load a time capsule with drawings of what they think the world will look like 50 years later. In 2009 the capsule is opened and the contents distributed amongst the current class of children. Caleb Koestler, the son of MIT Professor and Astrophysicist John Koestler (Nicholas Cage) is handed a sheet of paper containing line after line of numbers. The numbers appear random, but John soon uncovers a pattern, realising that the numbers show the time and place of every major disaster since 1959, three of which have yet to occur.
What then follows is the journey John undertakes in attempting to save lives and come to terms with his almost existentialist beliefs (that there is no grand meaning to life; it is all merely the result of millions of random occurrences), could be wrong and that every event is predetermined by a higher power.
Overall the film was pretty good, in fact I though the first half was fantastic. I expected it to be visually pleasing, having seen most of Alex Proyas previous films; and I wasn’t disappointed on in that aspect. The disaster sequences really made an impact, especially the first one. But I began to lose interest rapidly when the truth surrounding the “whispering men” began to unravel.
I don’t want to spoil it for anybody that hasn’t gotten around to seeing it yet, so I’ll not go into any further detail. Suffice to say my personal views don’t agree with the ending. I’d have found it better if the film ended when the event foretold at the end of the sequence of numbers played out.
It is definitely worth watching, and I think I’ll probably buy it n DVD to watch again; because despite not agreeing with the side of the argument the film takes, it is well made and entertaining.
Tuesday, 31 March 2009
Friday, 27 March 2009
Insert Motivation Here
Well this week has certainly passed quickly. Conversely, I realised today just how much of the year has already been ripped from beneath my feet. We roll into April next week and I have yet to accomplish any of the targets I have set myself for 2009. In my defence, few were in the first half of the year, but still. The fact that I have achieved so little thus far concerns me. Hopefully I can use the surge of motivation this little realisation has created to get things moving again.
At least my physical training is going well. The injuries I managed to pick up earlier in the year have given me no trouble for about three weeks now, meaning I have been able to build up to running a 6 mile circuit every other day at a pretty decent pace. I have decided to stop rowing for the short term, and contrite on mountain biking and endurance trekking/climbing challenges. (One of my goals for this year is to get an adventure racing team together and to compete in a couple of events before the end of the year).
I have had my interest in science re-ignited over the last few days, particularly in regard to Genetic engineering and Synthetic Biology so expect an entry or two on In Pursuit of Progress within the next few days. I am currently fascinated by the idea of being able to extract DNA from one organism and isolate a specific gene; which allows for a specific trait (e.g. luminosity) and then transfer the gene into a fertilized egg of another organism, which will then adopt the new gene and grow to have the trait taken from the source organism. Although whenever I begin to think about this subject I continually find myself conjuring up images of an army of flying monkeys.
On a side note, I seem to have fallen back in to the habit of not sleeping properly. I thought I might be facing another bout of Insomnia, but realised it was more a case of putting off going to bed in favour of doing random things, which in all honestly are either pointless or could wait until the next day. I had a discussion about this with a colleague today who has similar issues. We came to the conclusion that we are the products of a 24hour society, and so should move to a 24hour city. Norwich doesn’t exactly do much after 6pm. Generic, idiot filled nightclubs aside.
Maybe I should follow in the words of the Wombat and move to New York, because I’ve got trouble with my sleep.
Goodnight readers.
Actually, it has just gone midnight. Good morning readers!
At least my physical training is going well. The injuries I managed to pick up earlier in the year have given me no trouble for about three weeks now, meaning I have been able to build up to running a 6 mile circuit every other day at a pretty decent pace. I have decided to stop rowing for the short term, and contrite on mountain biking and endurance trekking/climbing challenges. (One of my goals for this year is to get an adventure racing team together and to compete in a couple of events before the end of the year).
I have had my interest in science re-ignited over the last few days, particularly in regard to Genetic engineering and Synthetic Biology so expect an entry or two on In Pursuit of Progress within the next few days. I am currently fascinated by the idea of being able to extract DNA from one organism and isolate a specific gene; which allows for a specific trait (e.g. luminosity) and then transfer the gene into a fertilized egg of another organism, which will then adopt the new gene and grow to have the trait taken from the source organism. Although whenever I begin to think about this subject I continually find myself conjuring up images of an army of flying monkeys.
On a side note, I seem to have fallen back in to the habit of not sleeping properly. I thought I might be facing another bout of Insomnia, but realised it was more a case of putting off going to bed in favour of doing random things, which in all honestly are either pointless or could wait until the next day. I had a discussion about this with a colleague today who has similar issues. We came to the conclusion that we are the products of a 24hour society, and so should move to a 24hour city. Norwich doesn’t exactly do much after 6pm. Generic, idiot filled nightclubs aside.
Maybe I should follow in the words of the Wombat and move to New York, because I’ve got trouble with my sleep.
Goodnight readers.
Actually, it has just gone midnight. Good morning readers!
Wednesday, 25 March 2009
Sound of Silence
Hello readers my old friends,
I’ve come to talk to you again,
Because this entry slowly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was walking,
A little homage to Simon and Garfunkel, if you don’t get it, check this video out.
Already my mini-break is drawing to its end, (why is it time off work passes so quickly?) and only now are the grey skies and rain making way for a little sunshine. Better late than never I suppose. The weather may have put me off embarking on any trips beyond the edge of the city, but I have still managed to put these past three days to good use. I checked in with a few of the recruitment agencies to read up on some new vacancies, and to keep my name from dropping too far down their lists of candidates. I have been writing, which is good, and have gotten a fair bit of reading in too, managing to finish both Dead Souls, which I shall review shortly, and the third of The Dark Tower series. I can’t decide what to start next, Nausea (Jean Paul Sartre), The Monk (Matthew Lewis) or Moby Dick (Herman Melville).
I also managed to give the apartment a good clean yesterday, not that you’d know that now. It both astounds and annoys me how quickly things become untidy, at times I feel like Isidore fighting the endless war against kipple (Blade Runner).
When it wasn’t raining I took a few walks along the river, which I haven’t done for awhile. Walking is my new method of fighting writers block, and it seems to be working pretty well, it also doubles up as exercise, which is always good.
On a side note, I have moved the entry entitled Tech talk #1 my new blog (In Pursuit of Progress); which will deal exclusively with technology, the Internet and science. I had planned in having a weekly feature here, in which I would talk about gadgets and the like. But after reviewing the first few entries I had planned on uploading, I realised that they just didn’t gel with the running themes I seem to have established here. So two blogs it is. Today’s entry is about Web 2.0-generation sites, and my latest discoveries.
Anyway, on to Dead Souls, which is considered one of the great works of 19th century Russian literature, despite being unfinished. It was written in three parts, but Gogol destroyed part three before his death, and part two finishes mid-sentence. I am undecided about how I feel toward it. I started reading, as I do with all books, with eagerness and an open-mind, but could not bring myself to enjoy it as much as I thought I should be.
The plot centres on the exploits Pavel Ivanovich Chichikov, a middle class gentleman retired from civil service. He arrives in a small provincial town, and quickly establishes himself as the toast of the landowners and officials alike through extravagant gestures, charm and flattery. He then sets off on a scheme to buy (or gain by way of gift) the deeds to any dead souls the landowners are burdened with.
(Prior to 1861, Russian landowners were allowed to own serfs who would farm their land. These serfs were considered the property of the landowners and could be brought, sold and mortgaged. Classed as a chattel, Serfs were taxable – should any die, the tax still had to be paid until the next official census was completed and the dead serfs recorded.)
It is essentially a get rich quick scheme, which inevitably does not go to plan; and it is when things begin to unravel for Chichikov that I began to enjoy the book a lot more. Gogal wrote this as a satire, and there are many moments in the various exchanges of dialogue between Chichikov and the landowners that brought a smile to my face, drawing attention to the absurdity of certain aspect of society.
I would suggest it be read, if asked. But I doubt I would actively recommend it, not until I have re-read it a few times and perhaps have a better appreciation for it.
I’ve come to talk to you again,
Because this entry slowly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was walking,
A little homage to Simon and Garfunkel, if you don’t get it, check this video out.
Already my mini-break is drawing to its end, (why is it time off work passes so quickly?) and only now are the grey skies and rain making way for a little sunshine. Better late than never I suppose. The weather may have put me off embarking on any trips beyond the edge of the city, but I have still managed to put these past three days to good use. I checked in with a few of the recruitment agencies to read up on some new vacancies, and to keep my name from dropping too far down their lists of candidates. I have been writing, which is good, and have gotten a fair bit of reading in too, managing to finish both Dead Souls, which I shall review shortly, and the third of The Dark Tower series. I can’t decide what to start next, Nausea (Jean Paul Sartre), The Monk (Matthew Lewis) or Moby Dick (Herman Melville).
I also managed to give the apartment a good clean yesterday, not that you’d know that now. It both astounds and annoys me how quickly things become untidy, at times I feel like Isidore fighting the endless war against kipple (Blade Runner).
When it wasn’t raining I took a few walks along the river, which I haven’t done for awhile. Walking is my new method of fighting writers block, and it seems to be working pretty well, it also doubles up as exercise, which is always good.
On a side note, I have moved the entry entitled Tech talk #1 my new blog (In Pursuit of Progress); which will deal exclusively with technology, the Internet and science. I had planned in having a weekly feature here, in which I would talk about gadgets and the like. But after reviewing the first few entries I had planned on uploading, I realised that they just didn’t gel with the running themes I seem to have established here. So two blogs it is. Today’s entry is about Web 2.0-generation sites, and my latest discoveries.
Anyway, on to Dead Souls, which is considered one of the great works of 19th century Russian literature, despite being unfinished. It was written in three parts, but Gogol destroyed part three before his death, and part two finishes mid-sentence. I am undecided about how I feel toward it. I started reading, as I do with all books, with eagerness and an open-mind, but could not bring myself to enjoy it as much as I thought I should be.
The plot centres on the exploits Pavel Ivanovich Chichikov, a middle class gentleman retired from civil service. He arrives in a small provincial town, and quickly establishes himself as the toast of the landowners and officials alike through extravagant gestures, charm and flattery. He then sets off on a scheme to buy (or gain by way of gift) the deeds to any dead souls the landowners are burdened with.
(Prior to 1861, Russian landowners were allowed to own serfs who would farm their land. These serfs were considered the property of the landowners and could be brought, sold and mortgaged. Classed as a chattel, Serfs were taxable – should any die, the tax still had to be paid until the next official census was completed and the dead serfs recorded.)
It is essentially a get rich quick scheme, which inevitably does not go to plan; and it is when things begin to unravel for Chichikov that I began to enjoy the book a lot more. Gogal wrote this as a satire, and there are many moments in the various exchanges of dialogue between Chichikov and the landowners that brought a smile to my face, drawing attention to the absurdity of certain aspect of society.
I would suggest it be read, if asked. But I doubt I would actively recommend it, not until I have re-read it a few times and perhaps have a better appreciation for it.
Monday, 23 March 2009
Time Is Ticking Out
Hello readers. Today I am churning out two entries for your reading pleasure due to the introduction of a new weekly feature, Techtalk, in which I’ll (obviously) be talking about technology. But I don’t want to dissuade any of my regular readers that stop by to read my ‘normal’ posts; so I will upload one such post after each Techtalk. Aren’t I a nice guy?
Don’t answer that, rhetorical question : )
So. The sunshine and cloudless skies we have been experiencing over here in the land of the Eng’s was today replaced with rain and, as I type, hail. Which was exactly the sort of weather I hoped for this week, as I am off work. Note sarcasm.
Needless to say, I didn’t venture out too far; other than to the mall for a little window-shopping, a coffee and some lunch. So today has been largely one of reading, watching daytime tv (which is as appalling as I remember from my days of not working, oh to be a student again!) and gaming. Between which I did check in with the agencies for any job vacancies that I may like the look of, and there are a few, so I’ll be heading to their offices tomorrow.
That largely sums up my day, as exciting as it was. Oh wait; I did do some cleaning, how could I neglect such an enthralling part of my day? Such is the joy of living alone. Well, not alone exactly, but my housemate is away until tomorrow. Eh, you get the point.
My weekend was more noteworthy, I already blogged about Saturday (Trippin’ to Chillville). Sunday was Mothers day in the UK (apparently the US celebrate it in a fortnight), so as is customary I hopped on a train and went to see the means of my creation, or “parents”, as they are sometimes referred to as.
You may remember reading my entry Thru the Glass, in which I talked about a grandparent being diagnosed with terminal cancer. It was the first and last time I had brought that up in this blog, but I visited her yesterday for the first time since I heard the news, as various implications of both parts have meant I couldn’t sooner.
It was a strange meeting in many ways - Once again as I approach this subject, the words seem to have deserted me. The ending of this entry is taking quite awhile, and numerous attempts.
She has become so thin and frail that to look at her gives the impression that she must be in pain, a suspicion backed up when your eye falls upon the large basket of medication she is currently on. It is easy to imagine why people fear death when faced with somebody so close to the end. I think the fear may be as much of the thought being so weak, vulnerable and reliant on others, than the idea of no longer existing as part of this world, or any world.
There were quite a few of us there, the mood was generally upbeat; awkward silences were thankfully short and far between. My younger brother was impressive in steering past these moments, and I saw a side of him I had never witnessed before. I was concerned he may have been having trouble coping, but now I am confident he has grown stronger.
I think I will bring this entry to a close on that, those last few mini-paragraphs have taken me about half an hour to write, I don’t think the words are going to come to me tonight.
Don’t answer that, rhetorical question : )
So. The sunshine and cloudless skies we have been experiencing over here in the land of the Eng’s was today replaced with rain and, as I type, hail. Which was exactly the sort of weather I hoped for this week, as I am off work. Note sarcasm.
Needless to say, I didn’t venture out too far; other than to the mall for a little window-shopping, a coffee and some lunch. So today has been largely one of reading, watching daytime tv (which is as appalling as I remember from my days of not working, oh to be a student again!) and gaming. Between which I did check in with the agencies for any job vacancies that I may like the look of, and there are a few, so I’ll be heading to their offices tomorrow.
That largely sums up my day, as exciting as it was. Oh wait; I did do some cleaning, how could I neglect such an enthralling part of my day? Such is the joy of living alone. Well, not alone exactly, but my housemate is away until tomorrow. Eh, you get the point.
My weekend was more noteworthy, I already blogged about Saturday (Trippin’ to Chillville). Sunday was Mothers day in the UK (apparently the US celebrate it in a fortnight), so as is customary I hopped on a train and went to see the means of my creation, or “parents”, as they are sometimes referred to as.
You may remember reading my entry Thru the Glass, in which I talked about a grandparent being diagnosed with terminal cancer. It was the first and last time I had brought that up in this blog, but I visited her yesterday for the first time since I heard the news, as various implications of both parts have meant I couldn’t sooner.
It was a strange meeting in many ways - Once again as I approach this subject, the words seem to have deserted me. The ending of this entry is taking quite awhile, and numerous attempts.
She has become so thin and frail that to look at her gives the impression that she must be in pain, a suspicion backed up when your eye falls upon the large basket of medication she is currently on. It is easy to imagine why people fear death when faced with somebody so close to the end. I think the fear may be as much of the thought being so weak, vulnerable and reliant on others, than the idea of no longer existing as part of this world, or any world.
There were quite a few of us there, the mood was generally upbeat; awkward silences were thankfully short and far between. My younger brother was impressive in steering past these moments, and I saw a side of him I had never witnessed before. I was concerned he may have been having trouble coping, but now I am confident he has grown stronger.
I think I will bring this entry to a close on that, those last few mini-paragraphs have taken me about half an hour to write, I don’t think the words are going to come to me tonight.
Saturday, 21 March 2009
Trippin' to Chillville
Experience is what you get, when you didn’t get what you wanted.
Well hello there readers, how-you doing? What is this you’re thinking; a post on the weekend? Why, what trickery is this?
Aye, rest easy traveller. Thar be no foul play here, pull up a chair and take the weight of ye feet.
I couldn’t leave this blog until next week with my previous post being the first thing to greet you all. Nobody needs that negatively, so here is something more positive to balance it out.
Today has been pretty good. The sun shone warmly over a clear blue sky; the city was really lively; but not uncomfortably overcrowded, and everybody seemed to be in high spirits. It was the perfect day in which to take the train out to the coast, but I alas, I did have to stop by the office for a few hours this morning. If you read my last entry, you would be unsurprised to hear that I wasn’t particularly enthused at that, but this is a happy post; and what follows are the reasons.
My little stint today proved most beneficial. After a discussion with a few of my superiors from the new department, it emerged that the news I received in the week was incorrect, and it would be looked into next week as a priority. So I could well be staying after all, which is awesome. But I won’t get my hopes up just yet, because my skills are needed in the other department so it may well come down to the two department heads playing paper scissors rock. Either way, I will have a definite answer. Excellent.
That put me in a brighter mood. I escaped the office in time to meet a couple of friends for lunch and a few games of MtG (magic the gathering); yes. I am a geek, should that fact have evaded you this long. As there was no wind, we got to play outside, in the beer garden beside the river; which was nice. (One downside to having geeky hobbies is that they tend to indoors affairs, and I like the sun). We were eventually forced to retreat inside as the sun slowly sank, the air took on a decisive chill and we realised the bar we had been drinking in for the past few hours wasn’t going to show the Wales v Ireland Six Nations match, which meant a quick relocation to one that did.
Tense match - I thought Wales might sneak the win to begin with, but didn’t think it would be by the 13 points they need to win the tournament over Ireland. The fact that they (Wales) lost 17-15, and ended up fourth behind England and France is a little harsh. But then I am English so in truth I don’t particularly care. Second is pretty good, considering the English team were the fourth best (maybe third best, the French seemed a little schizophrenic) team of the tournament.
It was good to have a day like this; I feel really good for having had a chance to unwind. With everything that has been going on recently it seems as though these days are few and far between. But as I sit now; reclining in my chair, keyboard on lap; occasionally taking a drag on my water pipe between scattered bursts of typing; with a random euphoric dance mix playing on shuffle and my mind wandering in distant fields, I’m not thinking much further ahead than when I should consider turning in for the night.
I sure I’ll be able to work more downtime into my schedule. I do after all have most of next week off, so hopefully the sun will stay so I can hop on a train to find myself a change of scenery.
Well hello there readers, how-you doing? What is this you’re thinking; a post on the weekend? Why, what trickery is this?
Aye, rest easy traveller. Thar be no foul play here, pull up a chair and take the weight of ye feet.
I couldn’t leave this blog until next week with my previous post being the first thing to greet you all. Nobody needs that negatively, so here is something more positive to balance it out.
Today has been pretty good. The sun shone warmly over a clear blue sky; the city was really lively; but not uncomfortably overcrowded, and everybody seemed to be in high spirits. It was the perfect day in which to take the train out to the coast, but I alas, I did have to stop by the office for a few hours this morning. If you read my last entry, you would be unsurprised to hear that I wasn’t particularly enthused at that, but this is a happy post; and what follows are the reasons.
My little stint today proved most beneficial. After a discussion with a few of my superiors from the new department, it emerged that the news I received in the week was incorrect, and it would be looked into next week as a priority. So I could well be staying after all, which is awesome. But I won’t get my hopes up just yet, because my skills are needed in the other department so it may well come down to the two department heads playing paper scissors rock. Either way, I will have a definite answer. Excellent.
That put me in a brighter mood. I escaped the office in time to meet a couple of friends for lunch and a few games of MtG (magic the gathering); yes. I am a geek, should that fact have evaded you this long. As there was no wind, we got to play outside, in the beer garden beside the river; which was nice. (One downside to having geeky hobbies is that they tend to indoors affairs, and I like the sun). We were eventually forced to retreat inside as the sun slowly sank, the air took on a decisive chill and we realised the bar we had been drinking in for the past few hours wasn’t going to show the Wales v Ireland Six Nations match, which meant a quick relocation to one that did.
Tense match - I thought Wales might sneak the win to begin with, but didn’t think it would be by the 13 points they need to win the tournament over Ireland. The fact that they (Wales) lost 17-15, and ended up fourth behind England and France is a little harsh. But then I am English so in truth I don’t particularly care. Second is pretty good, considering the English team were the fourth best (maybe third best, the French seemed a little schizophrenic) team of the tournament.
It was good to have a day like this; I feel really good for having had a chance to unwind. With everything that has been going on recently it seems as though these days are few and far between. But as I sit now; reclining in my chair, keyboard on lap; occasionally taking a drag on my water pipe between scattered bursts of typing; with a random euphoric dance mix playing on shuffle and my mind wandering in distant fields, I’m not thinking much further ahead than when I should consider turning in for the night.
I sure I’ll be able to work more downtime into my schedule. I do after all have most of next week off, so hopefully the sun will stay so I can hop on a train to find myself a change of scenery.
Thursday, 19 March 2009
Feel Good Hit of the Summer
Bonsoir, mes plus chers lecteurs. My last entry drew to a close with comments on some little adventures I had begun planning for this year.
I’m fortunate to have a whole six weeks (plus bank holidays) paid leave this year, score! So have I have decided that after a few trips to the Lake District, I’m off to Italy for a little island hopping; and trekking over some volcanoes (including Mt Etna), As well as either a weeks climbing in the Alps, or more of an easy sighting week trekking along the Amalfi Coast and up Mt Vesuvius.
Hopefully I’ll get a trip to Romania in the later half of the year, but currently I like the idea of spending some time in Morocco and climbing in the Atlas Mountains. I’ll make a decision on those two after speaking to my fellow adventurers again next week.
I love these little trips, they always motivate to train harder; and help keep my mood up. Something I am currently finding quite hard, despite repeating my little news year’s resolution mantra (See UNO) most mornings to myself, like a crazy man. The reasons for that are those that I have mention in some of my most recent entries, the foremost, over the last two days at least, has been work. I have been quite happy, generally, having moved departments at the beginning of the year. I have taken to my new role with great enthusiasm, and have worked really hard in both building my knowledge of my new role, and building good relationship with my new colleagues. From all accounts I have apparently exceed expectations, the knowledge of which has only spurred me on further. Until yesterday, when I learn that there is a very good chance I will be recalled to my old role, in my old department – because they now realise my skills would be of good use there.
Fucking fantastic, how is that for irony? I stick at a job I hate for over a year because the benefits are good enough to prevent me leaving, but that are not enough to stop me hating what I did. I had no motivation other than to do the bare minimum, collect my paycheque and ignore everything else involved with the company.
I was a disillusioned employee that hated my job, and was motivated only to do the bare minimum, cared for nothing other than getting my pay check (the benefits were just good enough to keep my from quitting), I hardly spoke to those I worked with; because I was generally pissed off – Then, I am asked to lend a hand (permanently) to another department who have just adopted new it systems and working practices, I agree because I don’t care.
But after only a few days I became almost a model employee. I loved the new challenge, worked as hard as I could; sough out knowledge to help me improve, gave up parts of my evenings and weekends to help the department meet its goals. I did everything that was asked of me, and more; willingly – and now, three months on, it looks as though because of my performance, and experienced, they want to put me back. I am so annoyed right now, I have expressed as much to my superiors; in both departments (which went down well in the old one) so we’ll see what happens. I have a few days off, so I’ll not be certain of my future until next Thursday. Right now I am pretty certain if they insist on sending me back, I’ll be handing in my notice – but that is a little rash. I need to sit down and weigh everything up before acting.
Phew, sorry to throw that one in your face readers. I bet you weren’t expecting that when you began reading! I wans't expecting it when I began writing. If it is any consolation, I do feel better for getting that out.
I’m fortunate to have a whole six weeks (plus bank holidays) paid leave this year, score! So have I have decided that after a few trips to the Lake District, I’m off to Italy for a little island hopping; and trekking over some volcanoes (including Mt Etna), As well as either a weeks climbing in the Alps, or more of an easy sighting week trekking along the Amalfi Coast and up Mt Vesuvius.
Hopefully I’ll get a trip to Romania in the later half of the year, but currently I like the idea of spending some time in Morocco and climbing in the Atlas Mountains. I’ll make a decision on those two after speaking to my fellow adventurers again next week.
I love these little trips, they always motivate to train harder; and help keep my mood up. Something I am currently finding quite hard, despite repeating my little news year’s resolution mantra (See UNO) most mornings to myself, like a crazy man. The reasons for that are those that I have mention in some of my most recent entries, the foremost, over the last two days at least, has been work. I have been quite happy, generally, having moved departments at the beginning of the year. I have taken to my new role with great enthusiasm, and have worked really hard in both building my knowledge of my new role, and building good relationship with my new colleagues. From all accounts I have apparently exceed expectations, the knowledge of which has only spurred me on further. Until yesterday, when I learn that there is a very good chance I will be recalled to my old role, in my old department – because they now realise my skills would be of good use there.
Fucking fantastic, how is that for irony? I stick at a job I hate for over a year because the benefits are good enough to prevent me leaving, but that are not enough to stop me hating what I did. I had no motivation other than to do the bare minimum, collect my paycheque and ignore everything else involved with the company.
I was a disillusioned employee that hated my job, and was motivated only to do the bare minimum, cared for nothing other than getting my pay check (the benefits were just good enough to keep my from quitting), I hardly spoke to those I worked with; because I was generally pissed off – Then, I am asked to lend a hand (permanently) to another department who have just adopted new it systems and working practices, I agree because I don’t care.
But after only a few days I became almost a model employee. I loved the new challenge, worked as hard as I could; sough out knowledge to help me improve, gave up parts of my evenings and weekends to help the department meet its goals. I did everything that was asked of me, and more; willingly – and now, three months on, it looks as though because of my performance, and experienced, they want to put me back. I am so annoyed right now, I have expressed as much to my superiors; in both departments (which went down well in the old one) so we’ll see what happens. I have a few days off, so I’ll not be certain of my future until next Thursday. Right now I am pretty certain if they insist on sending me back, I’ll be handing in my notice – but that is a little rash. I need to sit down and weigh everything up before acting.
Phew, sorry to throw that one in your face readers. I bet you weren’t expecting that when you began reading! I wans't expecting it when I began writing. If it is any consolation, I do feel better for getting that out.
Tuesday, 17 March 2009
Moment of Tranquility
Howdy-do readers. Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all my Irish readers, all one; maybe two, of you! As usual most of the bars and pubs in the city have been adorned in various green decorations, leprechauns have made an appearance, and everybody seems determined to down at least one pint of Guinness as if it is a sacred duty, despite not being Irish. I was tempted to join them, but I haven’t been able to face a pint of the black stuff since a recent trip to Belfast. During which time I may have drunk my own body weight in it. Amazingly I managed to walk back to the hotel, get undressed and clamber into the shower before dying. At which point I think we’ll leave that particular story!
One final St Patrick’s Day comment, I found a pretty good video on you tube, taken at the St Patrick’s Day Parade in Chicago – HERE. They dye the river green for the day, which is pretty cool.
The novelty of today aside, this week has proved to be rather tiresome, mainly because I seemed to have knocked my body clock out synch, by doing a little overtime in the office on Sunday morning. What a smart idea that was! At the time it was actually quite enjoyable; the office was without the usual chorus of people talking, feet stomping, fingers typing and printers, eh – printing? (I started so well). It was, dare I say; fun, with just a few of us dotted about a building in which hundreds usually work. Although it did become increasingly difficult to resist the urge of using my chair like a bobsled and rocketing along the office. Luckily my will is like tempered steel! …Until a woman bats her eyelashes in my direction. So weak – I hang my head in shame!
Anyway. The city was also quiet, as you might expect; and the weather was beautiful, which only added to the little pool of serenity I found myself nestled in. I mention this because, despite being stuck in the office on a gloriously hot day, I experienced a moment of utter peace when around 10:30 the church bells began playing. I generally don’t pay any attention to that sort of thing. But there was no way to ignore them this time, as they proceeded to ring out an almost ethereal tune that muted all other noise and simultaneously fill the office completely for around 30-40 minutes. I thought I was totally relaxed before they started, but only a few minutes after they had started I completely fell away from the world. I went through more work than I usually do, cases that had been bugging me seemed to suddenly make sense and where completed. Before I knew it the rest of the morning had been swept away into the pages of history and I was walking back through the still gloriously hot, peacefully quiet city. It was pretty cool.
However, I don’t think I will venture in work again on a Sunday anytime soon; it has, like I mentioned earlier completely thrown my body clock out of synch. I got to work Monday and it felt as though I’d not had a break since Friday, a feeling that has continue to compound itself throughout today. Still, it’s nothing that a good night sleep shouldn’t sort out. We shall see.
In slightly more exciting news, my little adventurers and I have been compiling details for trips this year. We are definitely going to be taking on Macgillycuddy’s Reeks in Ireland over a long weekend soon, and I’m hoping to get some interest in a trekking trip through the Carpathian Mountians in Transylvania, Romania. Having been there before, and loved it. I also found a trip that see’s you hopping along Sicily’s Aeolian islands, climbing the volcanoes. Which looks amazing. I’ll post more in my next entry, this one is long enough I feel!
One final St Patrick’s Day comment, I found a pretty good video on you tube, taken at the St Patrick’s Day Parade in Chicago – HERE. They dye the river green for the day, which is pretty cool.
The novelty of today aside, this week has proved to be rather tiresome, mainly because I seemed to have knocked my body clock out synch, by doing a little overtime in the office on Sunday morning. What a smart idea that was! At the time it was actually quite enjoyable; the office was without the usual chorus of people talking, feet stomping, fingers typing and printers, eh – printing? (I started so well). It was, dare I say; fun, with just a few of us dotted about a building in which hundreds usually work. Although it did become increasingly difficult to resist the urge of using my chair like a bobsled and rocketing along the office. Luckily my will is like tempered steel! …Until a woman bats her eyelashes in my direction. So weak – I hang my head in shame!
Anyway. The city was also quiet, as you might expect; and the weather was beautiful, which only added to the little pool of serenity I found myself nestled in. I mention this because, despite being stuck in the office on a gloriously hot day, I experienced a moment of utter peace when around 10:30 the church bells began playing. I generally don’t pay any attention to that sort of thing. But there was no way to ignore them this time, as they proceeded to ring out an almost ethereal tune that muted all other noise and simultaneously fill the office completely for around 30-40 minutes. I thought I was totally relaxed before they started, but only a few minutes after they had started I completely fell away from the world. I went through more work than I usually do, cases that had been bugging me seemed to suddenly make sense and where completed. Before I knew it the rest of the morning had been swept away into the pages of history and I was walking back through the still gloriously hot, peacefully quiet city. It was pretty cool.
However, I don’t think I will venture in work again on a Sunday anytime soon; it has, like I mentioned earlier completely thrown my body clock out of synch. I got to work Monday and it felt as though I’d not had a break since Friday, a feeling that has continue to compound itself throughout today. Still, it’s nothing that a good night sleep shouldn’t sort out. We shall see.
In slightly more exciting news, my little adventurers and I have been compiling details for trips this year. We are definitely going to be taking on Macgillycuddy’s Reeks in Ireland over a long weekend soon, and I’m hoping to get some interest in a trekking trip through the Carpathian Mountians in Transylvania, Romania. Having been there before, and loved it. I also found a trip that see’s you hopping along Sicily’s Aeolian islands, climbing the volcanoes. Which looks amazing. I’ll post more in my next entry, this one is long enough I feel!
Friday, 13 March 2009
FEAR
Fantastic Expectations Amazing Revelations
Hello readers - it’s Friday the 13th again. The second such occurrence within a month, all those poor Paraskavekatriphobic’s must be going out of their minds right now; and there is still one more to come this year.
Final Execution And Resurrection
So in my entry on the last Friday 13th (Senseless Superstition) I talked a little about my thoughts on superstition, so I thought that on this Friday 13th I would talk about FEAR.
Free Expression As Revolution
I actually decided on the theme for this entry at work today, and was able to find a few moments to reflect on what I feared. At the time I found it hard to think of anything. I thought I was the sort of person who would become momentarily scared of distant possibilities rather than the more ‘normal’, immediate; physical objects/scenarios that inspire fear. How that has changed!
In preparation for putting this entry together I decided to look up the most common fears people have. These include: death, spiders, snakes, clowns, heights, water, enclosed spaces, tunnels and bridges, terrorist attacks, social rejection, failure, public speaking, the future, and nuclear war.
Immediately the future and nuclear war stood out as they feature in the ‘what if?’ scenarios that like to take root in my mind on occasion. But although those scenarios do inspire some fear, this soon passes as my curiosity overtakes all other senses and I begin to think about it in detail. However, I then saw social rejection, failure and public speaking and realised that they all scare the bejesus out of me.
Upon reflection I realise I have two big fears, and it surprises me that they did not come to mind until I started to look at what other people feared. But then again, maybe it shouldn’t be much of a surprise. Isn’t it natural to block out things that you are afraid of?
My fears involve failure and rejection, and stem from some major mental issues I had throughout my childhood. I was terrified of large crowds, the idea of talking in public and was paranoid that people thought I was inadequate and were laughing at me. Thankfully those are no longer problems, but they have left their marks on me, those being the two scenarios that scare the hell out of me.
The first, as dumb as it may sound, is dancing. I hate it. At parties I am the guy that is as far removed from the dance floor as possible (which does in fact force me to socialise with random people – which is good, on most occasions). The thought of looking like an idiot and people laughing at me freezes me to the spot; and has on occasion brought me out in a cold sweat. Not so much now, people know me well enough to let me be –and sometimes, after downing an unhealthy amount of alcohol I have been known to stumble onto the floor and lay down some shapes. Still, I don’t like it.
The second is failure, moreover - rejection. The idea of being a failure scares me like no other; this motivate me most areas except when it comes to women. Then the fear seems to become insurmountable, and is the biggest factor in my long periods of being single. That said; you’d have already realised that I find it incredibly hard making the move that takes (or attempts to) friendship into a relationship, or evening making the move to initiate conversation, and friendship in the first place. Now, I have had quiet a few partners – and yet this f**king annoying fear of rejection has not been subdued.
Both of my fears are rooted in my anxiety/confidence issues, mentioned earlier. But my confidence has only grown since leaving school nine years ago, now I can be over-confident and an arrogant little shite at times. So there is obviously something more deeply imbedded in my psyche that is making me neurotic. Perhaps I’m a narcissist.
So my lovely little readers, what do you fear?
FEAR from the Album Music of the Spheres – Ian Brown
Hello readers - it’s Friday the 13th again. The second such occurrence within a month, all those poor Paraskavekatriphobic’s must be going out of their minds right now; and there is still one more to come this year.
Final Execution And Resurrection
So in my entry on the last Friday 13th (Senseless Superstition) I talked a little about my thoughts on superstition, so I thought that on this Friday 13th I would talk about FEAR.
Free Expression As Revolution
I actually decided on the theme for this entry at work today, and was able to find a few moments to reflect on what I feared. At the time I found it hard to think of anything. I thought I was the sort of person who would become momentarily scared of distant possibilities rather than the more ‘normal’, immediate; physical objects/scenarios that inspire fear. How that has changed!
In preparation for putting this entry together I decided to look up the most common fears people have. These include: death, spiders, snakes, clowns, heights, water, enclosed spaces, tunnels and bridges, terrorist attacks, social rejection, failure, public speaking, the future, and nuclear war.
Immediately the future and nuclear war stood out as they feature in the ‘what if?’ scenarios that like to take root in my mind on occasion. But although those scenarios do inspire some fear, this soon passes as my curiosity overtakes all other senses and I begin to think about it in detail. However, I then saw social rejection, failure and public speaking and realised that they all scare the bejesus out of me.
Upon reflection I realise I have two big fears, and it surprises me that they did not come to mind until I started to look at what other people feared. But then again, maybe it shouldn’t be much of a surprise. Isn’t it natural to block out things that you are afraid of?
My fears involve failure and rejection, and stem from some major mental issues I had throughout my childhood. I was terrified of large crowds, the idea of talking in public and was paranoid that people thought I was inadequate and were laughing at me. Thankfully those are no longer problems, but they have left their marks on me, those being the two scenarios that scare the hell out of me.
The first, as dumb as it may sound, is dancing. I hate it. At parties I am the guy that is as far removed from the dance floor as possible (which does in fact force me to socialise with random people – which is good, on most occasions). The thought of looking like an idiot and people laughing at me freezes me to the spot; and has on occasion brought me out in a cold sweat. Not so much now, people know me well enough to let me be –and sometimes, after downing an unhealthy amount of alcohol I have been known to stumble onto the floor and lay down some shapes. Still, I don’t like it.
The second is failure, moreover - rejection. The idea of being a failure scares me like no other; this motivate me most areas except when it comes to women. Then the fear seems to become insurmountable, and is the biggest factor in my long periods of being single. That said; you’d have already realised that I find it incredibly hard making the move that takes (or attempts to) friendship into a relationship, or evening making the move to initiate conversation, and friendship in the first place. Now, I have had quiet a few partners – and yet this f**king annoying fear of rejection has not been subdued.
Both of my fears are rooted in my anxiety/confidence issues, mentioned earlier. But my confidence has only grown since leaving school nine years ago, now I can be over-confident and an arrogant little shite at times. So there is obviously something more deeply imbedded in my psyche that is making me neurotic. Perhaps I’m a narcissist.
So my lovely little readers, what do you fear?
FEAR from the Album Music of the Spheres – Ian Brown
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
Fail
Oh Inspiration, you fiend. Why dost thou ignore me, leaving me out in the cold to look in upon your wonder like a tormented soul left longing in limbo?
I hate this. I have been sat here for the best part of an hour, and what have I to show for this time? Nothing. Nada. I am so non-committal today it almost defies belief.
I began this post five times and deleted every attempt, my brain having flipped on the ‘out to lunch’ sign and wandered away for a siesta, leaving me with no way to finish what I was attempting to say.
I cannot even set my mind to working on other projects – I have a piece of creative writing which I have all worked out, but when I attempted to write it up, my fingers stopped moving after only a few lines and I realised I was staring open mouthed at the monitor.
Fail.
Perhaps I will be more productive tomorrow.
I hate this. I have been sat here for the best part of an hour, and what have I to show for this time? Nothing. Nada. I am so non-committal today it almost defies belief.
I began this post five times and deleted every attempt, my brain having flipped on the ‘out to lunch’ sign and wandered away for a siesta, leaving me with no way to finish what I was attempting to say.
I cannot even set my mind to working on other projects – I have a piece of creative writing which I have all worked out, but when I attempted to write it up, my fingers stopped moving after only a few lines and I realised I was staring open mouthed at the monitor.
Fail.
Perhaps I will be more productive tomorrow.
Monday, 9 March 2009
Once Upon a midnight dreary
Hello readers. It looks like another late night for your narrator, which may result in another day of feeling like a sloth in a vacuum. (Slow, sluggish and slightly removed from everything going on around it). But perhaps my current good mood will win through and I’ll be able to combat the weariness.
I have been in really high spirits today. The sun was out for most of it, and despite a wind that blew as fierce as that which plagues the poor souls condemned to spend eternity in Dante’s second level of hell (and breathe), it was warm.
What has brought on this sudden spell of joviality? I don’t know. Perhaps it was having had time over the weekend to put everything out of my mind and actually rest. Yesterday I had the best nights sleep I have had in a long while, and I certainly felt it today. But then it could be down the distressing exercise I am attempting to work through right now. That exercise being the removal of sources of stress and tension in my life, and where it cannot be removed; I find a solution to it – or work around it.
It has seen me make some pretty drastic decisions over the last few days, time will tell whether they have been the correct ones for me. My head is a lot clearer right now, and I have found myself able to concentrate on the things that I could be concentrating on. Unfortunately life isn’t that simple, I have other people to consider and have to find a balance between doing what is right for me, and what is fair for them.
I’ll pick that up in a future post, it’s now past midnight and I should really be getting some sleep soon. Another day of fun and excitement at the office awaits me in, well less than seven hours now.
Before I sign off, my housemate and I went to see Watchman earlier. I had never read the graphic novel, but having heard a lot about it I went in with pretty high expectations. The film wasn’t what I expected, but I liked that, and I liked the film on the whole. It was refreshing to see ‘superheroes’ actually facing the emotional stress of their livelihood and deal with it in an arguably more human way than the heroes we see in Marvel. (Don’t take that as I knock at Marvel, I love marvel comics. More so than I probably should, I can’t help being a geek). But in Watchman the morally grey area all superheroes inhabit was not glossed over, we have it thrust in our faces with gritty realism (ish – its still a comic after all). The characters continually made decisions, and acted in ways you might think heroes like Batman or the Punisher are capable off, but generally paid little heed to.
The soundtrack and cinematography were also really good. There were some great camera shots in the combat scenes, and I realty liked the nighttime cityscapes. Definitely worth watching if you are a fan of the genre.
I think I'll leave you know. It its 00:30, and in the occasional periods of time when I am not typing, there is nothing but silence. A rarity when you live in the city centre. I'm going to go enjoy the moment, and hopefully after some palaver with the sandman he will take pity on me and Shepherd me into the dreamscape of a deep sleep.
I have been in really high spirits today. The sun was out for most of it, and despite a wind that blew as fierce as that which plagues the poor souls condemned to spend eternity in Dante’s second level of hell (and breathe), it was warm.
What has brought on this sudden spell of joviality? I don’t know. Perhaps it was having had time over the weekend to put everything out of my mind and actually rest. Yesterday I had the best nights sleep I have had in a long while, and I certainly felt it today. But then it could be down the distressing exercise I am attempting to work through right now. That exercise being the removal of sources of stress and tension in my life, and where it cannot be removed; I find a solution to it – or work around it.
It has seen me make some pretty drastic decisions over the last few days, time will tell whether they have been the correct ones for me. My head is a lot clearer right now, and I have found myself able to concentrate on the things that I could be concentrating on. Unfortunately life isn’t that simple, I have other people to consider and have to find a balance between doing what is right for me, and what is fair for them.
I’ll pick that up in a future post, it’s now past midnight and I should really be getting some sleep soon. Another day of fun and excitement at the office awaits me in, well less than seven hours now.
Before I sign off, my housemate and I went to see Watchman earlier. I had never read the graphic novel, but having heard a lot about it I went in with pretty high expectations. The film wasn’t what I expected, but I liked that, and I liked the film on the whole. It was refreshing to see ‘superheroes’ actually facing the emotional stress of their livelihood and deal with it in an arguably more human way than the heroes we see in Marvel. (Don’t take that as I knock at Marvel, I love marvel comics. More so than I probably should, I can’t help being a geek). But in Watchman the morally grey area all superheroes inhabit was not glossed over, we have it thrust in our faces with gritty realism (ish – its still a comic after all). The characters continually made decisions, and acted in ways you might think heroes like Batman or the Punisher are capable off, but generally paid little heed to.
The soundtrack and cinematography were also really good. There were some great camera shots in the combat scenes, and I realty liked the nighttime cityscapes. Definitely worth watching if you are a fan of the genre.
I think I'll leave you know. It its 00:30, and in the occasional periods of time when I am not typing, there is nothing but silence. A rarity when you live in the city centre. I'm going to go enjoy the moment, and hopefully after some palaver with the sandman he will take pity on me and Shepherd me into the dreamscape of a deep sleep.
Thursday, 5 March 2009
time 17.3.84 bb speech malreported africa rectify
Hello readers. Given the down beat tone of my last entry Thru the glass, I have resisted the urge to ponder death further at this time, and will endeavour to talk about something else. Unfortunately the subject of my last entry seems to be the only thing going on in my little world right now, other than work – which at present, is eating away at more of my time than usual. But the extra hours do mean extra money, which is helping to feed my many obsessions – and we get free pizza delivered to the office, so it’s all good.
I am finding work relatively enjoyable at the moment, which is an improvement on how I was feeling when I wrote Next Exit. We are under some considerable pressure right now due to an unnaturally heavy workload, but that suits me fine. I like a challenge, and what we are experiencing at the moment is nothing if not that. But I don’t wish to babble on about work, so that leaves me with Nineteen Eighty-Four to talk about.
I actually finished reading it again about the same time as I finished The Gunslinger, but never got round to uploading a review. Regular readers will be unsurprised when I say I think Nineteen Eighty-Four is a fantastic book, given how much I talk about Utopian/Dystopian concepts at the moment.
The plot centres on Winston Smith, who is living in a post-war London; in a world that has been divided into three super states, Oceania (Britain, renamed Airstrip One; the Americas, Australia and South Africa), Eurasia (Mainland Europe and Russia) and Eastasia (China, Japan, Mongolia and India). These three super states are engaged in a continuous war with one another over the remaining world territories and resource, though none are able to gain a significant advantage over the other two.
Oceania is ruled from London by ‘The Party’, who a totalitarian regime led by the ever present Big Brother, whose face appears throughout the city; always watching. The Party maintains control through oppression, fear and through aggressive propaganda, manipulating all forms of information; even peoples thoughts. This is largely achieved through the devices of newspeak and doublethink.
Newspeak is the official party language, a form of English in which any words that allow an individual to express a feeling or thought contradictory to the ideals of the party, is removed. (Limiting the vocabulary to limit the amount of freethinking).
Doublethink is direct mind control; it is the conscious mental act of accepting two contradictory beliefs as being true. The best examples of this are shown in the names and duties of the four ministries of The Party
Ministry of Peace – Conducts Oceania’s war effort
Ministry of Plenty – Controls the supply of food and goods
Ministry of Truth – The propaganda machine of the party
Ministry of Love – Identifies dissidents (real or potential) then arrests, tortures and re-educates them.
Party members are expected to train themselves in doublethink, those who don’t are likely to be suspected of thoughtcrime and taken to the Ministry of Love.
The narrative itself is divided into three parts; it begins with an introduction to this society through Winston’s eyes. We then see his intellectual rebellion against the party, and finally his arrest, torture and re-education in the Ministry of Love. Taking the character full circle in regard to his perception of Big Brother and The Party.
What I like most about this book is the way in which themes like the perception of truth, and of reality are explored. Winston’s job at the Ministry of Truth is to continually amend previous press articles that disagree with current facts or opinions given by The Party. All forms of the original article are then hunted down and destroyed, along with the orders to amend them (which arrive in code, like the title of this entry). This is repeated for all forms of information, even book are rewritten to fit the party ideals. In this way, the party effectively controls history.
It is the ability the Party has to control not only the present, but also the past, combined with the mental conditioning of its citizens via newspeak and doublethink, that make it appear so immovable. No form of co-ordinated resistance can exist, or at least go unnoticed for more than a few hours. I think that image both alarmingly and thought provoking.
I would like to see a society like that in action, as long as there was a way out. I wouldn’t survive long as a citizen in a Dystopia like Nineteen Eighty-Four. I would rather die in the Ministry of Love than live like a drone.
Nineteen Eighty-Four is a fantastic, thought provoking read; one which I think you should go away and start now!
I am finding work relatively enjoyable at the moment, which is an improvement on how I was feeling when I wrote Next Exit. We are under some considerable pressure right now due to an unnaturally heavy workload, but that suits me fine. I like a challenge, and what we are experiencing at the moment is nothing if not that. But I don’t wish to babble on about work, so that leaves me with Nineteen Eighty-Four to talk about.
I actually finished reading it again about the same time as I finished The Gunslinger, but never got round to uploading a review. Regular readers will be unsurprised when I say I think Nineteen Eighty-Four is a fantastic book, given how much I talk about Utopian/Dystopian concepts at the moment.
The plot centres on Winston Smith, who is living in a post-war London; in a world that has been divided into three super states, Oceania (Britain, renamed Airstrip One; the Americas, Australia and South Africa), Eurasia (Mainland Europe and Russia) and Eastasia (China, Japan, Mongolia and India). These three super states are engaged in a continuous war with one another over the remaining world territories and resource, though none are able to gain a significant advantage over the other two.
Oceania is ruled from London by ‘The Party’, who a totalitarian regime led by the ever present Big Brother, whose face appears throughout the city; always watching. The Party maintains control through oppression, fear and through aggressive propaganda, manipulating all forms of information; even peoples thoughts. This is largely achieved through the devices of newspeak and doublethink.
Newspeak is the official party language, a form of English in which any words that allow an individual to express a feeling or thought contradictory to the ideals of the party, is removed. (Limiting the vocabulary to limit the amount of freethinking).
Doublethink is direct mind control; it is the conscious mental act of accepting two contradictory beliefs as being true. The best examples of this are shown in the names and duties of the four ministries of The Party
Ministry of Peace – Conducts Oceania’s war effort
Ministry of Plenty – Controls the supply of food and goods
Ministry of Truth – The propaganda machine of the party
Ministry of Love – Identifies dissidents (real or potential) then arrests, tortures and re-educates them.
Party members are expected to train themselves in doublethink, those who don’t are likely to be suspected of thoughtcrime and taken to the Ministry of Love.
The narrative itself is divided into three parts; it begins with an introduction to this society through Winston’s eyes. We then see his intellectual rebellion against the party, and finally his arrest, torture and re-education in the Ministry of Love. Taking the character full circle in regard to his perception of Big Brother and The Party.
What I like most about this book is the way in which themes like the perception of truth, and of reality are explored. Winston’s job at the Ministry of Truth is to continually amend previous press articles that disagree with current facts or opinions given by The Party. All forms of the original article are then hunted down and destroyed, along with the orders to amend them (which arrive in code, like the title of this entry). This is repeated for all forms of information, even book are rewritten to fit the party ideals. In this way, the party effectively controls history.
It is the ability the Party has to control not only the present, but also the past, combined with the mental conditioning of its citizens via newspeak and doublethink, that make it appear so immovable. No form of co-ordinated resistance can exist, or at least go unnoticed for more than a few hours. I think that image both alarmingly and thought provoking.
I would like to see a society like that in action, as long as there was a way out. I wouldn’t survive long as a citizen in a Dystopia like Nineteen Eighty-Four. I would rather die in the Ministry of Love than live like a drone.
Nineteen Eighty-Four is a fantastic, thought provoking read; one which I think you should go away and start now!
Tuesday, 3 March 2009
Thru The Glass
Salut lecteurs, comment ca va? I have had a rather mixed weekend, and week thus far.
Where to begin?
Well. I wanted start with the positives, tentative optimism and all that. But in light of the news I received at my parents over the weekend, neglecting to start with that seemed ridiculous. So here it is, a close member of the family (grandparent) was diagnosed with terminal cancer during the week, and is not expected to see the year out.
We knew she was ill, but for a different reason; so this news came out of the blue (at least to me). I did receive a message in the week stating that a tumour had been found, but I was so wrapped up in my own little world last week I didn’t pay much attention. It was only when I arrived at my parents and heard the details that the message sunk in.
The mood there was not particularly sombre, but there was a definite feeling in the air that people were on edge. A feeling that seemed to become more pronounced the longer I stayed, because the notion came to me that I was an outsider. Now I know that sounds pretty ridiculous, after all it’s my family. But everybody was a lot quieter than usual (I barely spoke to either of my brothers, one of whom had proceeded to drink himself into a pretty bad state the evening before), and that edge in the air I mentioned seemed to tell of something that I had missed. I had missed something. After all, the news had broken days before my arrival; meaning everybody else had obviously discussed it and had been dealing with it together (if not openly, then around one another in the same vicinity). Whereas I had not spoken to anybody for the best part of a month, and so came into this environment not knowing what was going on.
I let my mother explain it, then let the subject lay. I had questions, but asking them seemed like a bad idea. It was immediately obvious that my thoughts regarding death are very different from the rest of my family, and I thought indulging my curiosity would only cause them additional upset.
This has actually been the first opportunity I have had to reflect on the situation, I realise now that I barely thought about it whilst at my parents; which strikes me as odd. But then, I was trying pretty hard to act normal and not say something out of place. I guess that is to be expected, after all this is new to me. Whilst I am comfortable with the idea (or rather my idea) of death, my philosophy is built around research and the experiences of others. I have yet to experience death firsthand.
I have known people who have died, obviously. But the last time that occurred I was still a child, and as such did not give the event much consideration. Said person was around, and then they weren’t, that was that. I pretty sure I remember being told at the time, that there is no point fearing death because we can’t escape it and then not sleeping that night. But that could just be a thought projected onto a half-memory, who knows? Either way, it is pretty close to my feeling towards death.
I am at ease with the situation, as far as the facts go it has already been reconciled in my head. I can’t help that, that the way I my mind processes things. Thankfully I am not devoid of all feelings, I know everybody else involved in this will be having a difficult time and that does concern, a lot actually.
I have yet to see B, but someone let slip that she doesn’t feel ready to leave my step dad and uncle yet, (and they sure as hell won’t want this) which makes me sad I don’t like to think of people in pain, I can only hope she can reconcile herself soon to make it easier on herself. Then there are both my brothers and sister, who (as far as I’m aware) will be experiencing death for the first time. Although subdued over the weekend, they seemed to be okay; my youngest brothers drinking adventure aside, but I have since heard a few things had point to the opposite. I feel more empathy for them than anyone else, so knowing that they are having difficulty taking this in really worries me. I feel guilty for not being around more to talk or to listen.
I guess that’s all I have to say for now. Except an apology for the morbid tone
Where to begin?
Well. I wanted start with the positives, tentative optimism and all that. But in light of the news I received at my parents over the weekend, neglecting to start with that seemed ridiculous. So here it is, a close member of the family (grandparent) was diagnosed with terminal cancer during the week, and is not expected to see the year out.
We knew she was ill, but for a different reason; so this news came out of the blue (at least to me). I did receive a message in the week stating that a tumour had been found, but I was so wrapped up in my own little world last week I didn’t pay much attention. It was only when I arrived at my parents and heard the details that the message sunk in.
The mood there was not particularly sombre, but there was a definite feeling in the air that people were on edge. A feeling that seemed to become more pronounced the longer I stayed, because the notion came to me that I was an outsider. Now I know that sounds pretty ridiculous, after all it’s my family. But everybody was a lot quieter than usual (I barely spoke to either of my brothers, one of whom had proceeded to drink himself into a pretty bad state the evening before), and that edge in the air I mentioned seemed to tell of something that I had missed. I had missed something. After all, the news had broken days before my arrival; meaning everybody else had obviously discussed it and had been dealing with it together (if not openly, then around one another in the same vicinity). Whereas I had not spoken to anybody for the best part of a month, and so came into this environment not knowing what was going on.
I let my mother explain it, then let the subject lay. I had questions, but asking them seemed like a bad idea. It was immediately obvious that my thoughts regarding death are very different from the rest of my family, and I thought indulging my curiosity would only cause them additional upset.
This has actually been the first opportunity I have had to reflect on the situation, I realise now that I barely thought about it whilst at my parents; which strikes me as odd. But then, I was trying pretty hard to act normal and not say something out of place. I guess that is to be expected, after all this is new to me. Whilst I am comfortable with the idea (or rather my idea) of death, my philosophy is built around research and the experiences of others. I have yet to experience death firsthand.
I have known people who have died, obviously. But the last time that occurred I was still a child, and as such did not give the event much consideration. Said person was around, and then they weren’t, that was that. I pretty sure I remember being told at the time, that there is no point fearing death because we can’t escape it and then not sleeping that night. But that could just be a thought projected onto a half-memory, who knows? Either way, it is pretty close to my feeling towards death.
I am at ease with the situation, as far as the facts go it has already been reconciled in my head. I can’t help that, that the way I my mind processes things. Thankfully I am not devoid of all feelings, I know everybody else involved in this will be having a difficult time and that does concern, a lot actually.
I have yet to see B, but someone let slip that she doesn’t feel ready to leave my step dad and uncle yet, (and they sure as hell won’t want this) which makes me sad I don’t like to think of people in pain, I can only hope she can reconcile herself soon to make it easier on herself. Then there are both my brothers and sister, who (as far as I’m aware) will be experiencing death for the first time. Although subdued over the weekend, they seemed to be okay; my youngest brothers drinking adventure aside, but I have since heard a few things had point to the opposite. I feel more empathy for them than anyone else, so knowing that they are having difficulty taking this in really worries me. I feel guilty for not being around more to talk or to listen.
I guess that’s all I have to say for now. Except an apology for the morbid tone
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