Complex Freak or Super Geek?

Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.

Hello Readers. If the title of this entry ends up being relevant to the content, it’s purely coincidental. The phrase came up in conversation today, and I; being the shifty little urchin that I am, decided to steal it. Yoink.

This week has been somewhat of a luxury thus far, in that I am currently experiencing a welcomed lull from what has felt like constant hustle and bustle since this New Year was thrust upon me like an unwanted pet cat, that has a tendency to try and claw your eyes out. Sorry, that sounded a little on the negative side. I will make the effort to add something positive to this post before its conclusion.

So, what has brought about this lull? Well, psychical injury for one; a minor injury albeit, (the result of some over zealous training at the weekend), but enough to give me an excuse not to train (much) this week. I have also had respite, in the most frustrating form, at work, due to our IT systems either, A: operating as slowly as a herd of tortoises stampeding through peanut butter, or B: having completely fallen over. ‘Fallen over’ being corporate speak for “It’s F***Ed”.

This slowdown has given rise to some interesting conversations, resulting in phrases such like the title of this entry being unleashed into the public domain. It has also left me with small pockets of time in which I have had very little do, (not for lack of trying) which inevitably lead to me beginning to think. When I begin to think at work, all the weird and wonderful thoughts that, up to this point, have been repressed to keep my mind on my job rise up in rebellion and spill into my conscious like the Parisian insurgents storming the Bastille in 1789; threatening to decapitate me and parade my head around on a stick should I ignore their demands for attention.

Fearing for my life, I attentively let my mind wander. Unsurprisingly, my thoughts are currently inspired by Brave New World and Nineteen Eighty-Four, a copy of which – at the point in time I now refer to, was sat on my in tray glaring impatiently at me, waiting to be read at lunch. I started to see similarities between my workplace and those of the two novels, which goes someway to explain why I like them so much. They were written in 1932 and 1949 respectively, yet they still strike me as being all to relevant. A passage describing Winston’s workplace in The Ministry of Truth, (Which I won’t quote because its too long, Chapter 4, pages 48-50 penguin Orwell centenary edition) reminded me so much of my own working environment, and how people react with one another.

I work for a national company, that is part of an international organisation, and I find comparisons to Dystopian environments draw themselves. Given the ease in which one can feel undervalued and invisible, can feel lost – can be lost, within the sea of uniformity such an organisation requires to function efficiently. At times it can feel as though you are using all of your strength just to be noticed and keep your head above water, knowing that if you stop; even momentarily, you could be dragged into the depths of melancholy and obscurity. A place you may find it hard to return from.

But then I am the sort of person that likes to escape into my head, life is more interesting in there than in reality. Conjuring up a grand theory that involves some sinister big brother like force hiding behind the photocopier, watching, controlling and conspiring, gives me a convenient way of shifting the blame for any faults of my own on to something else; even if that thing is merely a figment of my overactive imagination. Thankfully for me, I am aware of this little habit of mine, and usually take actions to correct it. I say usually, I like to take these little flights of fancy from time to time – they keep me sane. The problems will only occur when I begin to mistake them for reality.