Next Exit

Oh readers, what a day. In reality it has been much like any other weekday, I awoke to a light drizzle pattering on my bedroom window, cursing myself for having gone to bed late. I got ready for work and watched vlogs on youtube whilst eating breakfast, went to work, came home, and am writing this whilst I wait for my housemate to return and we can go out.

But somewhere along that journey through the mundane, I encountered one of those moments I’m sure all of us have at some point. A moment in which the world; moreover your little piece of it, suddenly feels tiresome, pointless and has you wanting for a means of escape. A moment brought on by that feeling, (or should I say realisation?) that you are fundamentally unhappy with some large element of your life.

Such a moment struck me today and despite my best efforts; I appeared to have brought it home. What a sorry sight I must have made, marching back through the city – wearing my black suit, overcoat, umbrella and a weary look that (if the face that looked back at me from the mirror when I arrived home is anything to go by), seemed to tell of melancholy, loss, frustration and I suspect a hint of anger. You would have been forgiven for believing I had just returned from a returned from a funeral rather than the office.

A cup of tea; (how typically English of me!), and some quiet mediation has lifted the cloud of gloom from my shoulders, and allowed me to analyse the cause of this upset and what measures I should take to rectify it. The cause is my job. A statement that will perhaps come as no surprise to anybody reading that knows me well, after all I briefly began to look for alternative employment in the later quarter of last year. But various changes resulting in a transfer to a new department and a more varied, challenging workload did wonders to subdue any unhappiness. But, in the lull I described in Complex Freak or Super Geek, those niggling little voices of discontent began to whisper once more. At first I thought the company was attempting to brainwash me through the air conditioning, but when nobody else claimed to have heard the voices I realised it was in my head. Well, in my head or those pesky house elves are playing tricks on me again.

What the Dickens! Did I just reference Harry Potter? Holy Hand-Grenades, I really do have issues.

You can take that poor attempt at humour as a sign that I have waved a wand in the direction of that little cloud of gloom and yelled Expelliamus, vanquishing it to whence it came. (On a side note, I have no idea where these Harry Potter references are coming from; I’m not a fan). My new years resolution/mantra seems to have really taken root, nothing seems to keep me in low spirits for long anymore. I dare say I will as wide-eyed and hyperactive as Mary Poppins on speed by the end of the evening.

I realise I have just taken you on a trip around tangent town, sorry. Shall we make our way back to the main topic?

Before our unscheduled diversion I was talking to you about my job. But during the course of writing and then editing this entry, which; as it turned out, included a trip to the supermarket, making and eating dinner, ironing a shirt for tomorrow and a conversation on Nuclear Fusion with my housemate, I realised that I had actually resolved the issue. I don’t dislike everything about my job, but I am allowing what are a relatively few issues cloud my judgement and forget the many positives I do take from it, and the people I work with. Except one, who is a complete douche bag. (I think only disliking one of around eight hundred co-workers is pretty good!). So I will tackle these issues one at a time, keep working hard and get my self noticed – because a promotion is not out of reach. In the meantime, I’ll drop my cv off in the local recruitment agencies just to gage what kind of work is available, and in a month or two can reassess the situation.

Part of me wishes I could solve all of my problems that easily. But then I guess if life were that easy we would get so bored that we would invent new ways to create problems for ourselves.