On Insomnia

Under the glow of a full moon that has illuminated my entire room; I write this entry from bed. I can’t sleep, so I might as well make use of the time. This is the fourth, or fifth restless night in succession. Which is the unmistakeable sign that my old friend Insomnia has returned for a visit.

I can generally tell when Insomnia is going to strike; it almost works it’s way in to my life like a new girlfriend; until it finally feels comfortable enough to leave its toothbrush in my bathroom and starting buying things for the apartment; essentially moving in and taking control. (I’m joking!)

But this time it was different. Perhaps it wanted to keep our relationship fresh and mix things up. It could have just introduced handcuffs to the bedroom, but no. Instead it just arrived quite literally out of the blue hitting me full in the chest; taking the wind from me, and I lay in bed; feeling my tired eyes droop, staring at the darkness trying to recover my breath.

Usually I can hold it together, enough to appear relatively normal, if a little vacant at times. But this week my energy reserves have eroded rapidly, with them have gone my short-term memory, my patience and motivation. Today I hit the wall. I have no idea how I continued to function until I made it home to recover.

Somehow I have managed to find the energy to keep up my running, if only twice a week. The late night circuits of a sleeping city, and jogs along the river under a star filled sky the only positives of this unwelcome visitor. I hate insomnia, but I love the nighttime. I have blogged before on the pleasures of running through the city when everybody is indoors and the lights are mostly switched out; it is so inviting unusual.

A full moon only makes the atmosphere more appealing; I could lose hours staring at it unsure of the reason behind my fascination.

I am sure of one thing, the reason behind this reappearance of my old acquaintance. It has to be stress and anxiety caused from increased pressures at work; also partly excitement from meeting a pretty amazing young lady (Perhaps). That is a good thing, knowing the cause should help me find the means to stop the problem.

But I get the feeling this particular problem can only be prevented, never quashed.

Adieu.